-times gone by -
Does Erik still furrow his brow when he's lost in thought?
Does Brianna still braid her hair and take the stairs two at a time,
Her loose soot-covered laces bobbing up and down?
Has she still not tripped doing so..?
I keep trying and trying to capture current you in my mind’s eye
so many versions arise
How do I know, which one is really you?
Perhaps, none of these variants are even close to the real you
I know I wouldn’t have thought I’d be the way I am now; not too long ago
And hows Juan, Juanito?
Is his contagious smile still marked with silver fillings from one too many Sandia-chili paletas?
Brianna, do you still keep it all inside until one comment, and the tears come running ?
—------------------------
Just the other day, I was scrolling through my camera roll and suddenly all these pictures of us resurfaced...
There by your grandpa’s swing
Up the hill skating in the empty lots
Corny vlogs of us ‘sneaking out’ and buying tacos.
your dusty checkerboard slip-ons
the rosette handbag forever positioned by your hip
The little space in between your two front teeth
The way I’d do a lap looking for you and always end up at the same spot
there under the patchy tarp at the corner of our porch
sitting in the shade slurping Maruchan laughing that’d, I’d found you
I’d found you
It's a funny thing really
getting older
They never really tell you about the loneliness of getting older
the moving away
the downtime
quiet nights
Everything I never knew to be mine until now
(I guess time’s really gone by)
- Vienna [Jacqueline Shugert]