-times gone by -

Does Erik still furrow his brow when he's lost in thought?

Does Brianna still braid her hair and take the stairs two at a time,

Her loose soot-covered laces bobbing up and down?

Has she still not tripped doing so..?

I keep trying and trying to capture current you in my mind’s eye

so many versions arise

How do I know, which one is really you?

Perhaps, none of these variants are even close to the real you

I know I wouldn’t have thought I’d be the way I am now; not too long ago

And hows Juan, Juanito?

Is his contagious smile still marked with silver fillings from one too many Sandia-chili paletas?

Brianna, do you still keep it all inside until one comment, and the tears come running ?

—------------------------

Just the other day, I was scrolling through my camera roll and suddenly all these pictures of us resurfaced...

There by your grandpa’s swing

Up the hill skating in the empty lots

Corny vlogs of us ‘sneaking out’ and buying tacos.

your dusty checkerboard slip-ons

the rosette handbag forever positioned by your hip

The little space in between your two front teeth

The way I’d do a lap looking for you and always end up at the same spot

there under the patchy tarp at the corner of our porch

sitting in the shade slurping Maruchan laughing that’d, I’d found you

I’d found you

It's a funny thing really

getting older

They never really tell you about the loneliness of getting older

the moving away

the downtime

quiet nights

Everything I never knew to be mine until now

(I guess time’s really gone by)

- Vienna [Jacqueline Shugert]